I have been working really hard on my paper. I have put so much time and effort into this paper. I never thought in high school that I would ever be able to write a nine page paper. When I discovered my topic I knew that this may be possible because I really enjoy the topic. I have taken many hours of my day to work on my paper. Doing the peer review really helped me a lot. I thought how I had written my paper was pretty good. When I got back the peer reviews it really helped me discover what I was doing wrong. I did not realize that I was turning my essay into an informative essay. I have so much information and knowledge on the topic that it seemed like I did not have enough room for my argument. I have been working on creating a better argument for each paragraph. Although my essay is a little bit informative, I feel that it is necessary to share all the information I have discovered. All the examples and details I read about were so insane and extreme I had to share them. Some of the examples of the actual events that happen in the brothels are crazy. No one would ever think something that crazy would take place in such an open environment. Another thing I need to work on is my thesis statement. I feel that it is not very strong and it needs to have a better argument. I need to provide my audience with a more detailed description of what I am going to be talking about in my essay. I do not really have a thesis statement right now that pertains to what I am talking about. I think I am going to change my argument to why sex trafficking is wrong and immoral. I think it is a valid argument because there are many people that think sex trafficking is okay. Many people support sex trafficking and think it helps society. There are families of the girls that are in it that think it is morally right to sell their daughter to the brothels to help their families. Then if I use that argument it will go right along and make it easier for me to create an argument with the information I already have and used.
I also think that peer reviewing other people has helped me with my writing immensely. It has really helped me see what not to do. A lot of the people have the same problems as me. It is easier to spot the things I am doing wrong in my paper because i have seen other people do the same mistake in theirs. It is also nice to get feedback from the professor because she is the one who will be grading it. I think it is really helping my overall writing. Doing this project has made me more confident in my writing. Even though writing is not my subject I do not mine doing it as much as I used to.